This week I made my first social media post about The Race After the Race.
Until now, only a handful of people knew about the project. I kept it quiet, and honestly, it felt safe that way while I was still figuring out what I was doing. I knew I'd eventually make it public. I just didn't expect an Instagram post to be one of the hardest things I'd done with it so far.
Out on a training run
I've been a musician for most of my life. I've recorded multiple CDs, played shows and put music out for other people to hear. I don't remember being particularly nervous about any of that. This felt different, and I'm still not entirely sure why.
About a week before I finally made the post, I decided to announce the book and ask runners if they'd be interested in sharing their DNF stories. Then I spent most of that week finding other things to work on so I wouldn't have time to do it.
Finally, I got tired of avoiding it and said, “Thunder with it.” That's a phrase my good friend and neighbor Mike V. says all the time, and it seemed appropriate. I made the post.
Almost immediately, friends started commenting and sharing it. People sent encouraging messages, and some shared pieces of their own DNF stories. The response was far beyond what I'd expected when I hit the button.
So, if you saw that post, followed a shared link or heard about the project from somebody else and ended up here: welcome.
There isn't a ton on the website yet. I'm working on that too. There are some blog posts to read, some background on the book, and a Share Your DNF page if you have a story you'd like to tell me. And I very much still need those stories.
I've been working on The Race After the Race for a couple of months now. I've never written a book before, so I have absolutely no idea what an acceptable timeline for something like this is. I have drafts of the first few chapters and a much better idea of what the book is than I did when I started.
I know how I've handled my own DNFs. I've also watched my wife, Amie, deal with hers. Those experiences are where a lot of this started. What I don't know is how typical either of us is. Maybe I'm an outlier. That's one of the reasons I want to talk to other runners.
If you've only recently heard about the project, you're not too late. I'm still looking for stories and people to interview. You don't need to have dropped from a huge race or be an elite runner. If you trained for a local 50K and dropped, I want to hear about it. If you've been running ultras for years and have a list of DNFs on UltraSignup, I want to hear about those too.
And if you happen to be an elite runner reading this, yeah, I'd definitely love to talk to you as well.
That's one of my favorite things about ultrarunning. An average runner like me can line up at the same race as an elite runner and, in many cases, run the same course. We'll hit the same aid stations and climb the same hills. One of us might finish many hours before the other, but we're both out there. A DNF puts the same three letters next to either name. I'm interested in what happened to each person, especially afterward.
Submitting a story through the website doesn't mean it'll automatically appear in the book. It's a way for me to hear what happened. If there's something I'd like to explore further for possible use in the book, I'll contact you about an interview. We'll talk about your experience and what you're comfortable having me use.
For those who don't know me, I'm an average guy who loves trail and ultrarunning and stumbled into a subject that completely took over my brain. I'm not an elite runner or a sports journalist, and this is my first attempt at a book.
I've always enjoyed writing, but at some point I drifted away from it. Then I started dealing with my own DNFs and watching how Amie dealt with hers. I became fascinated with what happens mentally after someone stops a race they've trained for and rearranged parts of their life around.
I started taking notes and writing random pieces about it. I wasn't setting out to write a book. Eventually, I read back through what I'd written and thought, “Hey, maybe there's something here that other runners would be interested in.”
That's when I went down the research rabbit hole. I read race reports and blog posts, looking for other runners talking about their DNFs. I spent way too much time reading academic research papers. One question led to another, and the collection of random notes slowly started looking like an actual project.
And now apparently I'm writing a book.
If you have a DNF story, I'd love to hear it.